I Just Want You To Know Who I Am
by POTC-HarryPotter
Summary: This is a Story about Harry's feelings after the Final Battle. His hurt, guilt and suffering is not yet over, but Ginny is there, trying to prove to him he is not alone. Written before Deathly Hallows was realised.


**I Just Want You To Know Who I Am**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls_

Harry sat alone in his bedroom, sitting on the bed replaying the previous days events over and over in his mind. He shouldn't have let them come. It was too dangerous. He should have insisted.

"Harry?" the uncertain voice of Ginny echoed in the small room as she walked in and closed the door. "What is it?" Harry didn't look up at her. He was too ashamed of himself.

Ginny went and sat down next to him on the bed.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened,"

"Ginny don't," Harry said immediately with pain in his voice.

"If I wasn't to blame you wouldn't feel the need to tell me I'm not,"

Ginny raised her eyebrows and replied matter-of-factly,

"I felt the need to remind you that you weren't to blame because I knew for well that you would be. I know you, Harry. I've spent the last nine years getting to know you and for the past two years I've been your girlfriend. Ron and Hermione are going to be fine. You couldn't have protected everyone." Harry got up and paced the room.

"They shouldn't have been there," he growled in frustration.

"You couldn't have stopped them," Ginny pointed out.

Harry stopped pacing and looked at the window. A look of shame etched on his face and Ginny stood up and walked to the window, facing him.

"Given if I had been able to stop them, I needed them there,"

"Of course you did. There nothing shameful about that Harry. Many wizards were willing to die that day if it meant the downfall of Voldemort."

Harry knew that Ginny's words were supposed to be of comfort but Harry kept thinking about the final battle.

They had been outnumbered, with their numbers decreasing. Harry, Ron and Hermione were fighting side by side, trying to stick together. Suddenly a stray curse from a different fight threw Hermione fifty feet behind them. Harry was in the middle of a fight but he heard Ron yell and ran to her. That was the last he saw of them until after the battle.

He couldn't remember killing Voldemort, he didn't want to. Somehow the idea that he had killed another person, if Voldemort could even be described as that, was as horrifying as endangering the ones he loved as he had done.

"Who am I, Ginny? Is this what I have become?" Harry inner feelings reflected his pathetic voice as he really asked himself those desperate questions. But it was Ginny who answered them. She took his face his her hands.

"I love you. Doesn't that count for something?"

"What if who you love isn't there anymore?" He snapped back angrily, which startled her.

"I know he is. I wouldn't be standing here. The only thing you have done is saved the world from a cruel man and a cruel fate. And you know what? The person that I fell in love with wouldn't have let the wizard who killed his parents, his godfather, his Headmaster, who is responsible for trying to destroy your life continue to destroy it in his own death. What kind of satisfaction are you giving him?"

At her words, Harry broke down. For the first time he broke down in front of someone else. Ginny held him to her and gave him comforting kisses on the neck and shoulders as he let go of all the pain and suffering of the past years. Ginny tried not to cry, she wanted to be strong for him but to see him in this state made her body start to shake in held in sobs and tears flowed silently from her eyes. Harry clung to her and Ginny clung back, never wanting to let each other go.

Harry woke from the first nightmare free sleep in years. Ginny was still fast asleep on his chest and he gently shifted underneath her, managing to get out of the bed without rousing her. He walked over to the window. He looked out and saw the sun was shining bright, as if it was reflecting his current feelings. For the first time in his life he felt as thought a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders. It was at last over. He felt arms wrap themselves around his shoulder and a drowsy voice ask softly, "Are you alright?" He turned around and hugged Ginny close to him saying contently, "I will be."


End file.
